Dump Him or Keep Him?

Aaaaah...the throes of love.

You've known this guy for six months.

He has great qualities, like being honest, sincere, dependable and committed...character traits that you'd want to have in the person you'd like to spend the rest of your life with, right?

But, he also has some irritating personality traits that you can't overlook.

Like his insistence on burping loudly and for endless seconds at the most inappropriate times...

Table manners that would make a pig seem princely...

And awful social skills.

Hmmh!?!...

You've spoken with him about these habits, how it really upsets you when you're around him and he displays himself in a manner that would make a pig blush.

How displaying himself in such a manner could be a possible turn-off for those who'd want to get to know him better and how it could prevent him from having a fulfilling social life.

But he tells you he can't change....that, that's just the way  he is and if you want to have a long-term relationship with him, then you will just have to accept him as he is...

Hmmh!

Well you have an important decision to make...

Should you dump him or keep him?

After all, you've known this guy for six months; have invested your time, emotions and energy in this relationship.

And he has great qualities...surely he's a keeper (you should keep him)....

But then you remember those awful character traits...the ones that just make you want to pull your hair out and scream.

And you're in a dilemma... Keep him or dump him?

So how do you resolve this?

Well, you have to make an assessment of his good versus bad traits and whether or not you can tolerate the bad.

Get a piece of paper or use a Word processor like Microsoft Word, where you can list his bad traits versus his good ones.

Draw a vertical line down the middle of the paper . If using Word, create a two-column table. Make a heading on the left, entitled "bad traits" and one entitled, "good traits" on the right hand side of the paper/document.

Write all his bad traits on the left hand side and his good ones on the right hand side.

Which side is longer (has more traits listed)?

This is the first indication of whether or not he's a potential keeper.

[If the good traits outweigh the bad, then he's a potential keeper. If it's the opposite, then he's a potential dumpee (to be dumped)].

Then you have to project this relationship into the next 3-5 years... and ask yourself..."what will my life be with this person, 3-5 years from now?....will this person change for the better or for the worst?"

Ask, "How will his character traits affect our children (negatively and/or positively), should we have any?"

Please bear in mind that character traits and habits have been ingrained and nurtured in all of us from childhood to adulthood, and are very difficult to break.

The man you see now, is the same man you'll see in your future.

His attitudes now, will be the same ones you'll face in the future.

Please note his unwillingness to even look into himself, and see that something is wrong with his behaviour or see how his behaviour is negatively affecting you.

This shows a lack of concern for your feelings and an inability to truly search his own soul.

So, should you keep him or dump him?

Well, that's up to you.

If the positives outweigh the negatives, then he's a keeper.

If not, he's a dumpee.

What do you think?

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