Jamaica, since last week Wednesday, has been awash with news and debate over Sara Lawrence's (Miss Jamaica World 2006) decision to relinquish (give up) her crown (Miss Jamaica World and Miss World Caribbean titles and crowns.)
[Sarah relinquished her crown due to her being pregnant (she's expecting in September of this year.)]
The chairman of Miss World Ltd., Ms. Julia Morley, has said that Sara's Miss World Caribbean title will remain in tact and has advised the head of the Miss Jamaica World Franchise in Jamaica, Mickey Haughton-James, to follow her lead and allow Sara to keep the Miss Jamaica World title.
Ms. Morley has said that "this is the 21st Century and we must realize that these things do happen".
She has praised Sara's compassionate nature and has pledged the support of Miss World Ltd. of Sara.
We are yet to hear from Sara as to whether or not she will decide to keep her titles, but no doubt we'll hear of her decision within the next two weeks.
Well, Girl With a Purpose Blog applauds Sara's decision to have her baby and to prioritize her baby over her titles and crown. She could have had an abortion, which, some women in her situation may have done, but she decided to choose motherhood over titledom.
Moreover, we applaud the fact that she came public with this news, versus us having to hear about this through the grapevine (gossip and rumour-mill).
What concerns me is that a very prominent lawyer, here in Jamaica, has stated publicly, that Sara can no longer be an advocate for the "Safe Sex" campaign, here in Jamaica, as she obviously wasn't practicing safe sex.
I just want to bring to our attention the fact that Sara is a professing born-again Christian. For born-again Christians, sex before marriage is a no-no.
In an ideal world, all unmarried, born-again Christians should not be having sex, as this is against Jesus Christ's teaching of purity and of waiting for marriage to engage in sexual intercourse (of any kind).
It thus means, that Sara would not have been having a lot of sex. It means that she probably would not have been an active participant of safe sex, as she wouldn't have been having any of it...
It could be very possible that she got caught with her pants down, unwittingly...meaning, she didn't plan for it to happen.
Why do I say this?
Because if a person is a true convert to Christianity (a born-again Christian), pleasing God is no. 1 priority in that person's life.
He/she tries his/her best (with the help of the Holy Spirit) to please God in every thought, word or action.
It means that this person has a very active conscience and that if he/she commits sin (any thought/ word/action that displeases God), he/she is very aware of it and should confess it to God immediately and refrain (stop) from doing it (with the Holy Spirit's help.)
So a person who is a born-again Christian, who is committed to his/her relationship with God, does/should not actively practice sin of any kind (lying, cheating, stealing, etc.)
Now, we don't live in an ideal world, and unfortunately, sex before marriage is becoming common among some professing born-again Christians.
The other unfortunate thing is that sex is so taboo in some churches, that the young people are feeling sexual urges and don't know how to control themselves and there are very few adults who they can ask about sex, who'll tell them the truth.
The truth is that:
1) Sex is not running away...it will be there for you when you're ready to engage in it...(I strongly believe that young people should wait for marriage before engaging in sex)
2) Sexual urges are normal, they are there to prove to you that you're still alive and ticking. The day you stop experiencing sexual urges, will be the day that you're dead!
3) Being physically active (participating in sports) and being involved with many other activities, reduces your need to use sex as an outlet for your energies.
This is especially true for guys/men...if you get actively involved in your community and your self-development, you'll be surprised at how your outlook on life will change.
4) You have to decide how far you'll go in a relationship before starting a relationship.
Let me repeat...
You have to decide how far you'll go in a relationship before starting a relationship.
For unmarried girls/women:
a) You have to practice saying "no"..."no" to being fondled [breasts, and vulva, vagina (or surrounding areas) being touched or rubbed in any way), "no" to a boy/man rubbing up himself on you..."no" to a boy hugging you up...let him keep his hands to himself!
b) Don't sit in a boy/man's lap...his penis is extremely sensitive and when you rub on it, it will respond!
For unmarried guys/men (a fair number of guys/men read this blog):
a) You have to practice saying "no"..."no" to being fondled [breasts, penis and testicles (or surrounding areas) being touched or rubbed in any way], "no" to a girl/woman
rubbing up herself on you... "no" to a girl hugging you up...let her keep
her hands to herself!
b) Don't allow a girl to sit in your lap...your penis is extremely sensitive and when rubbed, it will respond (well I don't have to tell you guys this, do I? :))!
For both unmarried guys/girls:-
a) If you can't kiss someone without feeling horny (sexually excited), don't kiss him/her.
b) If you can only holds hands and not feel horny, then only hold hands!
c) Your body is the temple of God's Holy Spirit...meaning, God's has prepared your body for His Holy Spirit to live there! If you're a born-again Christian, God's Holy Spirit actually lives in your body!
Sex before marriage is the only sin committed with the body!
Don't allow anyone to play/fool around with you/ your body...
You're not their toy/plaything!
Don't play/fool around with anyone/ their body...
They're not your toy/plaything!
d) Especially when you're not in a relationship, practice saying the word "no" over and over again, until it becomes a habit...it becomes much easier to say, in a relationship, when you've practiced saying it!
e) Choose boy/girl friends with similar views re sex before marriage. If your potential boy/girl friend does not believe in waiting for marriage to engage in sex (or sexual activities)...find one who does...God will provide you with one who does believe in waiting...
f) Sex, when engaged in at the right time, can be heated and off-the-wall (exciting)! [Just ask the married couples in your church or who you know (who aren't shy about talking about their experiences) who waited for marriage to engage in sex.]
g) Educate yourself about your body and that of the opposite sex and how your bodies work!
Try to understand the emotions and the chemical reactions that take place in your body when physical attraction takes place and those that occur before, during and after sex takes place.
h) Educate yourself about sex - don't be naive about sex, try know as much about it as you can (and how you can protect yourself from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)/AIDS/babies), while not engaging in it!
i) Enjoy your youth!...don't allow yourself to be bogged down by worrying about the repercussions (consequences) of unplanned-for sex - e.g. STIs, AIDS, babies, (and especially for the girls - your boyfriend leaving you when he discovers you're pregnant or him forcing you to have an abortion)!
If you abstain from sex before marriage, you'll have none of these worries!
j) Remember, misery likes company...
Most people will encourage you to have sex before marriage...
Why?
Well, they'll tell you that it's natural...everybody who's healthy or who has reached a certain age, is doing it!
What they won't tell you is:
1) The many sleepless nights they've had in their lifetime, wondering:
a) If they, themselves (as in the case of girls/women) or their girlfriend (as in the case of guys/men) was pregnant
b) If they've caught a STI/AIDS from having unprotected sex
2) The feeling of guilt they've had for having sex when they weren't quite ready.
3) The feeling of guilt they've had for forcing or coercing someone to have sex with them
4) (In the case of girls/women, the abortions they've had as a result of unwanted pregnancies)
5)( In the case of guys/men, the abortions they've coerced their girlfriends to have, as neither of them were prepared to become parents)
6) (In the case of girls/women, the unplanned-for children they've had, and how their education and self-development was postponed or abandoned, as a result.)
7) In the case of guys/men, the unplanned-for-children they've had, that they now have to be supporting, in addition to their current children.
8) In the case of guys/men, the many women they've hid from or avoided, who may have identified them as their baby/babies father.
9) The many times they've had sex with someone with the hope that this would somehow create a lasting bond between themselves and the other person, and it didn't.
10) The few times they've lived with a boy/girl friend with the intention/hope of being married and it still hasn't happened - and they will never understand the true reason why this has never happened...
The reason is that the other party is thinking to him/herself ,"why buy the cow and I can get the milk to drink for free?"
I believe that Sara can still be an advocate of the Safe-sex campaign, as she, when she has gotten over the embarrassment of this situation, can say to other young women, "look, I didn't abstain from sex and look at what happened to me, I got pregnant...don't let this happen to you!"
What do you guys think of what has been said?...
Do you agree/disagree with anything?
Please let us know, by commenting, below :)
News Source:
1) Article, Sara could retain titles, Jamaica Gleaner, March 17, 2007
Gillian
Recent Comments