Girl With a Purpose (GWAP)

You Were Created For Love!

The Bible, which I believe to be the written word of God...tells us that when God created Adam - the first human being...that He took absolute pleasure in doing this...to God, Adam and all His other creation.. was not only good, but very good (Genesis 1:31).

 

And since the Bible, even though written thousands of years ago, is still applicable today, we can interpret this to mean that God took absolute pleasure in creating you, too!

 

To Him, you are a beautiful gift and all He wants to do is to shower you with all His love...a secure love...one that never wanes, wanders...one that you can feel 150% safe in...a love that will not only shield and protect you, but renew you daily.

 

There are many places in the Bible where we're told that God so loved us... that He did, "such and such" for us...

 

E.g. in St. John 3:16, we're told that God so loved us that he Gave his only Son - Jesus Christ who died on the cross for our sins...so that we would not be condemned to eternal separation from God, but be drawn closer to Him.

 

We see a loving God who shows us that to love fully and completely, we must do something...give, yeah...give!

 

So, God the author and creator of love, as an example to us, of how to have fulfilling lives and especially (since we're in Valentine's month) how to have fulfilling love lives...shows us that total  fulfillment in our relationships is dependent on our ability to give.

 

...and herein lies the mystery of love - the ability to give love fully...totally, without fear...to the right person, someone who will cherish that gift...not abuse it.

 

So if you want to learn how to love - the Bible is a great reference point!

 

And I'm speaking to the younger and not-so young visitors to Girl With a Purpose (GWAP) Blog :)

 

...the Bible is a great reference book for any person who wants to know how to love...completely, wholesomely.

 

1 Corinthians 13 and Songs of Solomon (starting with Song of Songs 1) are just two examples of books in God's word (the Bible), where we learn about wholesome love and sensual love...

 

...Yep, God himself, in these and other books of the Bible, teaches us how to have totally fulfilling love lives.

 

When we understand that we are instruments of love....that we were created to love and be loved totally..fully...with abandon,

 

Then this centres us and makes our journey to finding our soul mate (life partner -husband/wife), that much easier.

 

(Yes, I do believe in soul mates - that some people are predestined for each other, that there are people whom God has chosen for us.

 

People whom He knows that we'll so sync and intertwine with, that our lives and theirs will be greatly enhanced as a result of their presence in our lives).

 

This journey to finding your soul mate is not for the faint-hearted.

 

To find true love requires faith in a God who knows what's and who's best for you, a willingness to listen to Him when he says "yes" or "no" re your choice of life partner; guts and determination...a determination not to settle for less than we truly deserve.

 

When we look at love from this perspective ...it make us open to it, but wise, as per category 5 in our post, "How Deep is Your Love?"

 

We will not allow people into our lives, who'll destroy us, but who'll build us up and truly be God's gift to us.

 

This will be the basis for all the other posts that we'll make over these two (2) weeks.

 

...That journey.

 

In these posts we'll teach, especially our younger ones, how to handle this awesome  and truly wonderful journey of love - that of enriching someone else's life and in turn, enriching your own.

 

As such, we'll start with our post tomorrow, "Should I tell someone that I really like romantically, the truth on Valentine's Day?"

 

Please stay tuned!

 

Gillian

 

Sources Include

1) Genesis 1:31 via Biblegateway.com,accessed February 1,2012

 

2) 1 Corinthians 13 via Biblegateway.com,accessed February 1,2012

 

3) Songs of Solomon (e.g. Song of Songs 1), via Biblegateway.com,accessed February 1,2012

 

4) Post, "How Deep is Your Love?", by Gillian Campbell, Girl With a Purpose (GWAP) Blog, February 13, 2008 (updated January 31,2012).

Going Into Danger Despite Seeing Red Flags

There's a site that I visit often, where a young woman is offering money for persons to help her convince her atheist boyfriend that God not only exists, but for him to convert to Christianity.

 

Now it seems as if this young lady really needs help, for she loves this young man and is trying her best to see him turn to God.

 

But although she's been getting a lot of help - in that there are many willing to "help" her in exchange for money, no one has been forthright with her publicly, that the problem is not with her atheist boyfriend...it's with her.

 

For why on earth would a Christian want to date an atheist (someone who doesn't believe that God exists)?.

 

If Christ is so important to you, why would you want to have an intimate relationship with someone for whom Christ is not only unimportant, but non-existent?

 

Unfortunately, this is one of the many examples of young women seeing red flags and stepping right into danger.

 

But it also serves as a learning point for other young women out there.

 

God loves you and is concerned about every aspect of your life, including your relationships...

 

...and that's why He's provided Christian communities locally (via church and youth groups) and globally for young persons to become friends with other young persons who love God and are walking with Him in spirit and in truth.

 

Forging intimate relationships with non-Christians will give you great despair (2 Corinthians 6:13-15).

 

There are too many Christians available locally and globally with whom you can forge relationships, for you to get into relationship with someone whose value systems are alien to yours.

 

Christian young persons, trust God (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 37:4-6), He'll point you to the right persons with whom you can forge satisfying and long-lasting friendships and relationships.

 

Gillian

Happy Mother's Day!!!: Words of Encouragement to Mothers

 

A very Happy Mother's Day to all our Girl With a Purpose (GWAP) moms!

 

We hope that your day has been going well and that you're feeling pretty special!

 

Being a mom is a special responsibility that God has gifted some women...

 

...And being the caring Father that He is, He's a left a manual for mothers and mothers' to be, that will enable them to have successful family lives.

 

Here are a few scripture passages that will give you some biblical perspective about how to be a successful mother and wife:

 

1) Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD

 

2) Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones

 

3) Proverbs 31: 10:-12; 26-30 (full context: verses 10-31)

 

A wife of noble character who can find? 
   She is worth far more than rubies. 

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her 
   and lacks nothing of value. 

¹² She brings him good, not harm, 
   all the days of her life. 

 

...

 

²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, 
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 

²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household 
   and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; 
   her husband also, and he praises her: 
²⁹ “Many women do noble things, 
   but you surpass them all.” 

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

 

 

4) Ephesians 6: 1-3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—

 ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

 

Hopefully, the above words of encouragement, will be a guide for wives and mothers, that will enable you to find favor with God and favour in your households (and by extension, community).

 

Please feel free to read and reflect on the above, as you contemplate and reflect on marriage, motherhood and the joy of being a woman in God's favour!

 

Don't worry GWAP Blog men and fathers...Father's Day is coming up.

 

At that time, God willing, we'll also share some interesting insights from God's word, re how He views the roles of husband and father! 

 

Please stay tuned for that, too!

 

Gillian

Is it Love or Infatuation?

Lover's Park
Originally uploaded by StevenMiller

As promised, we now present our post, "Is it Love or Infatuation?".

 

We apologise for the delay in bringing this to you.

 

Let's begin:

 

There are times when teens and even adults wonder if they are merely infatuated with someone, or really love that person.

 

Well, the following are a few pointers that will help you to determine the difference between love and infatuation:

 

Infatuation, according to Princeton's WordNet Search 3.0, is "a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration".

 

...It's that high that you get when you're around someone you really like.

Your adoration of the person is based on some physical asset that they have...like nice looks (i.e. the person is handsome or pretty), hands, smile, laugh, etc.

 

The thing about infatuation is that it doesn't last  - this kind of adoration is akin to what you may feel for your favorite celebrity.

 

But probably if you got to know the person a little better, you'd find out that these were probably their only redeeming (positive) qualities, for their real personality so contradicts your own, that you could never even see yourself being friends, muchless a girlfriend/boyfriend of this person.

 

Having a perception of who someone is, based on who we want them to be, is completely different from accepting them for who they truly are.

 

After all, a person is so much more than a physical asset. He/she is an emotional, spiritual, psychological and rational being, too. :)

 

So let's get to love:

 

I believe that when it comes to two people being strongly attracted to each other, the following two definitions of love, below, are intermingled:

 

1) A strong positive emotion of regard and affection

2) A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction.

 

(NB:  the difference between the definitions of love and infatuation.

 

Just a note for teens: it's essential that you concentrate on definition no. 1, of love, above...so that you learn how to practice self control. A lot of adults have sexual baggage and lousy sex lives because they rushed into sex.

 

Sex is a spiritual, emotional and then physical act...reserved by God for married people...people who have decided before God and witnesses, to commit their entire beings to each other.

 

When you short-circuit this process...you short-circuit the joyful experience...not just the pleasurable experience...but the spiritual joy in making love to that person you have reserved yourself for...no matter what your sexual urges or the ads on TV or the Internet may tell you :)).

 

Resuming...

 

However, true love is based on knowledge of a person...you have to know someone in order to highly regard them and feel affectionate towards them, even when his/her faults or weaknesses are known to you.

 

1) So love assumes that you've gotten past the mad, heated-rush stage and have really gotten to know the person you're interested in.

 

You've taken the time to listen, really listen to them and ask questions where clarification is needed, as it takes a little time to really know the core of someone.

 

By core I mean, what makes them tick...i.e. what motivates them, what disappoints them, do they mean themselves and others well, or are they mean-spirited (malicious, jealous, insecure)?

 

Included in this is  knowing that person's personal, educational and career goals, their values (what takes priority in his/her life and why, e.g. the place of God, religion, money, family and sex in his/her life) and their hobbies.

 

(Just a note re the above priorities. The place of:

1) Religion & God: If you're a  born-again Christian, you will have spiritual and emotional disquiet with someone who isn't)

 

2) Money: You need to determine where you fall on the spendthrift versus miser scale and where your love interest also falls on this scale.  The further away, you are from each other, on this scale, the more quarrels you will have regarding money

 

 3) Family: Does the person value family ties, does he/she want children? How does he/she feel about their own parents?...does this concur with your own view of family?

 

4) Sex: Does the person believe in waiting for marriage to have sex? If not and you do, you will have emotional and spiritual conflicts re this).

 

Knowing someone's core is essential to knowing the person...you don't have to know everything, but once you know what they're made of (how they think and how they'll react in certain situations)...you'll know if you can really love them for who they truly are.

 

The minute you start assuming something you don't know...then  you know that your knowledge re that particular aspect of the person's life is lacking.. and you run the risk of just being infatuated and not loving the person based on who he/she really is.

 

(You can find out a person's core after a few dates with him/her...

 

That's why it's essential to date someone first...before investing a lot of your time, energy and emotions into  having a relationship with that person).

 

After you've found out the person's core, then you know you're in love, when you have more than 70% of your core values in common and you can be affectionate towards and highly regard that person, despite the 30% difference.

 

In some cases, the 30% difference drives two people apart.

 

[Core values are must-have traits that your ideal partner must have for you to be happy and harmonious in that relationship.

 

Common core values (similar attitudes towards religion, money, family, sex) enable you to have a long and lasting relationship with that person].

 

So let's recap:

 

Infatuation is based on an idea that someone has a personality that appeals to you - you don't actually know who the person really is,  but assume that because of some physical trait - the person fits into your idea of who an ideal spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend should be.

 

Love goes past the physical assets of the person, to loving a person based on knowledge of that person, and his/her core values:

 

You know you love someone when  you know that person's core values, these overlap at least 70% with yours and you can be affectionate towards and highly regard that person, despite the 30% difference.

 

It is our hope, that after reading this post you are clearer re the differences between infatuation and love. :)

 

Please email me or comment below, to let me know if you indeed are, or more muddled. :) 

 

Thanks. :)

 

Gillian

Follow-up:Family of Missing Son Needs Your Help - Che Beckford is Back Home!!!

Please read our previous post, here, for a background to the following:

 

Praise be to God, Che Beckford is back home with his family!!!

 

Che returned home on Saturday, December 18.

 

Firstly, we want to thank our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, for bringing Che back home, safely!

 

We also want to thank the many saints; friends, concerned persons and family members, worldwide, who prayed and assisted in Che's safe return home.

On behalf of the Beckfords...Thank you!

 

Friends:

 

1) God has again proven Himself to be miraculous!

2) The family craves your continued  prayers...thank you!

 

Gillian, on behalf of the Beckford Family.