Please see our previous post, here, for a background to this post.
The Free Dictionary defines a friend as a person whom one knows, likes and trusts.
Friends are very important people in our lives, as they are great people to share our time with, are great sounding-boards for second opinions re events that occur in our lives, and are usually great shoulders to cry on, should the situation warrant it.
As such, it is important to maintain harmonious (good) relationship with our friends.
Part of doing this, is being frank with our friends:
Yes, most of our friends do expect us to be straightforward and truthful with them, but care should also be exercised in these relationships.
E.g. there are certain sensitive topics like bad breath and body odour issues, that should be dealt with delicately.
If there is a problem in any of these areas, you need to speak with the affected person directly...don't ask another friend to do it...you noticed the problem, be a friend and help the person fix it.
For Bad Breath Issues:
Please remember that we all experience bad breath throughout the day... so you need to ask yourself if your friend consistently has bad breath issues or if his/her bad breath situation is rare...
In most cases:
1) Brushing one's teeth after major meals (breakfast, lunch or dinner)
2) Brushing the top surface of one's tongue from the tip of the tongue to the wider portion near the back of the mouth
3) Flossing twice, daily
4) Using a a gentle mouth cleanser like Listerine after brushing (if you intend to go out)
5) Sucking on low-sugar breath-mints or chewing sugar-free gum, after meals taken away from home (e.g. at school or at work)...
...will eliminate bad breath.
If the person is a smoker, then his/her bad breath will be caused by smoking...but this problem can be alleviated by the person doing the above five (5) things.
(You should dissuade your friend from smoking, as it damages his/her lungs, causes lung diseases and lessens the length of his life and the lives of family, friends and associates who inhale his/her smoke).
If your friend is not a smoker, his/her bad breath could be a sign of deeper health issues...
In this case, you need to encourage your friend to go to his/her dentist and doctor to investigate the matter,further.
For Body Odour issues:
If your friend has a body odour problem...then maybe your friend needs to be encouraged to do the following:
1) Change the time day when he/she bathes...like switching bathing time from evenings to mornings, to ensure that his/her body is fresh to start a new school/work-day
2) If your friend has to go out in the evening...another bath may be in order...the least your friend should do, in this case, is to brush his/her teeth again, properly wash and dry under arms, under breasts (for females) and pubic area, before venturing out in the evening
3) Your friend should also be encouraged to apply a fresh splash of cologne (for males) and dab of perfume (for females), before venturing out.
If the above suggestions do not work, then maybe your friend:
1) Needs a change of soap - on that is hypoallergenic, but strong enough to get rid of body odours and last throughout the day
2) Needs to know where and how to put on perfume and cologne. The general rule is that they go in between the creases of the body, where there is a pulse (small blood vessel).
For women, areas of choice are, a little (a dab):
a) Behind the ear (or just below the back of the ear), or on the skin area between the neck and shoulder,
b) On the skin,just in between the fold between your hand and arm (just above the elbow)
c) On the inside of your wrist (near the inside palm of the hands)
d) At the back of the neck at the intersection of the neck and the shoulder - [not necessary if you do a) above]
e) Right in the middle of the intersection of the back and the bottom
f) At the inside fold of the leg and the foot (directly under the knee)
For men:
a) A little aftershave on the cheek and neck area by the cheeks
b) A good dab of cologne across the breast area (very hairy men may need more)
c) A little on the inside of your wrist (near the inside palm of the hands)
d) A good dab of cologne across the back and near the intersection of the mid-back and bottom (very hairy men may need more)
e) A little on the sides of the body (between breast area and hips) - [not necessary if you do d) above]
f) A little at the inside fold of the leg and the foot (directly under the knee).
6) A general rule of thumb is that :
a) You should apply a little (a dab) of cologne/perfume in the creases (natural folds) of the body, but just enough to feel and smell fresh.
However, your application of perfume/cologne should not be so strong that people have to run from the room, when you approach. :)
b) Use cologne and perfume that blend well with your natural body odour and soap smell
c) Test cologne/perfume on your wrist, wear it around for at least 3-4 hours to a day, before purchasing it.
These are simple things that can be done to improve your friend's well-being...
Making suggestions like the above, is really what is called for as a friend.
(Please remember that when dealing with anyone, but especially a friend, you should put yourself in his/her shoes and ask yourself how you'd like someone to approach and deal with you, if the tables were turned.
Doing so, will earn you great credos for being a friend who exercises care, when telling it like it is.)
Nuff said (Jamaican,meaning, enough has been said).
(I would like to thank Paul.McGee for the use of his inset Flickr picture, above.)
Gillian
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